Out of an abusive relationship and needs self-esteem support

QUESTION:
​Roze,
​I have just gotten out of a five-year-long abusive relationship.  My self-esteem is low, and I feel like I have no control over my emotions.  I have no idea what to do to start building a new life for myself and my son.  What's your advice for first steps?
ANSWER:
Dear Client, 
Leaving an abusive relationship can be hard.  The first thing you need to work on is forgiving the person who hurt you.  You then need to start to forgive yourself.  Understand that this was an experience that happened in your life and it does not define who you are. Be gentle with yourself.  Take baby steps forward. Realize that you deserve better and you are worthy of love and joy in your life.  

Torn between friendship and dreams for the future

QUESTION:
Dear Roze,
I have this group of friends that I've known for years, but I want to focus on my career, save for a house, and pay off my student debts.  My friends though, they want me to go out partying with them, sometimes even during weeknights.  It's expensive, and I don't like some of the things that happen at these parties: too much excessive drinking and drugs.  Do I have to dump my friends?  Or can I have both my friendships and my future?
ANSWER:
Dear Client, 
Put yourself first.  Realize that you matter.  Your destiny does not evolve around others.  Make yourself a priority.  Make a plan and stick to it.  You can do it!!! Your list should consist of the goals you want to accomplish and how you want to accomplish them.  In regards to your friends.  You can engage with them without neglecting yourself.  Your son and you are your priority.  This should be your focus and your top priority. 

Getting to know the real score between a new person in life

QUESTION:
Hey Roze,
I really like this guy, but sometimes... I don't know.  He's rude, insults my friends, and even tells me how to dress sometimes.  Is this normal, or should I be worried that he's trying to control more than my fashion choices?
ANSWER:
Dear Client,
You come first! Follow your intuition.  If he is disrespectful now and it's just the start of the relationship, what will it be like later? You have to look at the entire picture and put your feelings aside and ask yourself if you feel valued in this relationship?  If not then make a decision to choose you.